I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize