Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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