Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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