Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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