There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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