Who did Billy Mays play for?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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