your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize