My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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