Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize