Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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