omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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