Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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