I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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