my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize