We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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