u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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