I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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