i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize