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i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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