So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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