He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize