Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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