don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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