ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
