You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize