how can u be prego again
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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