batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
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Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
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What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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