alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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