Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize