We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize