i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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