We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She even gives head with a lisp.
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I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
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Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
God, I missed his penis.
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