Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize