it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
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