even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
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For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
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Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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