Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize