i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize