i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize