break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize