It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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