She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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