I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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