my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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