I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize