You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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