I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize