Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I am midnight drunk by noon
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize