i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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