Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I pour the whiskey from now on
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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