you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Holy sore nipples Batman
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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